Setting: Older drunk man enters the downtown M-train on a busy Saturday. Proceeds to rattle on about everything for the next eight stops.
“Everyone has a right to get on the fucking train. Put another fucking train on the track. Or just wait another 3 hours like I did.” (Sir I’m pretty sure you haven’t been waiting for this train for 3 hours, maybe more like 10 minutes?)
“Am I in New York City? No, everybody here is like a mannequin. Speak your fucking mind” (Like you sir? Because it is obviously doing a whole lot of good right now. Not. At all)
“Did you know? Did you know that for every one person that dies from heroin use, a million die from alcohol?” (Sir, where are you getting your statistics from?), “Drink a bottle and stab your wife.” (That’s not necessarily the first thing I want to do after drinking a bottle, just saying)
“Call your congressman, tell him to drink a bottle of vodka and die!” (Good luck with that)
“You take 5 and then you’re dead. Tylenol, dead as a door nail. I swear to God, that’s the truth speaking, that’s the bible.” (I don’t even know what to say to that except, maybe you’re thinking of a different drug, Sir)